Co-habitation
I had an intense discussion with my oldest last week about whether we should consider a Christian couple living together as being in the wrong. (This is a couple in a dating relationship, not just roommates – that’s a different issue.)
My points were (1) if a couple is dating and has committed to save themselves for marriage, moving in together is just too much temptation to handle for almost everyone, (2) a couple living together does in fact give the impression that there is a sexual relationship regardless of their claims, much more so than if they were not living together, and (3) if it’s accepted by the Christian community, a couple who does not have the resolve is more likely to move in together and end up in sin than if it weren’t unaccepted.
His argument is that we should not assume that a couple living together is having sex — we just don’t know, and assuming so is unjustly judging them, especially if they specifically claim not to be intimate. There’s no valid “weaker brother” or “appearance of evil” argument because the current culture assumes that any dating couple must be having sex, and there is no difference whether they’re living together or not. A co-habitating couple claiming not to be having sex is just as credible as one that is not co-habitating making the same claim. (Note – my son is not living with a woman, and believes that sex outside of marriage is wrong.)
I confess that when we started this discussion, I was totally befuddled. How could anyone reasonably argue this? Are millenials really that different from us boomers? My first point is cross-generational and should be enough to keep Christian unmarried couples from living together. His second and third arguments assume a whole lot more change in culture than I see. I agree that we have freedom in Christ to do anything that is not prohibited in the Bible, but three of those things prohibited are leading other Christians astray, giving an appearance of evil, and subjecting yourself to temptation.
My son stands by his arguments, and I stand by mine. But we still talk, and I still love him.
